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God Bless America: No One Else Will Print E-mail
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Written by Trevor Hill   
Tuesday, 24 March 2009

The FOX show ‘Red Eye’ with Greg Gutfeld“…the most powerful country in the universe…” (as quoted from the FOX show ‘Red Eye’ with Greg Gutfeld, see video below). And Gutfeld goes on further to say, “Why don’t we invade this ridiculous country [Canada]?” And Americans wonder why the rest of planet has a wee problem with their attitude.

Add in the comments from Thing One and Thing Two. Thing One (Bill Schulz), “We have cars and they have horses…” (our RCMP police). And from Thing Two (Monica Crowley), “The army needs time for manicures and pedicures.” Would that include the deceased soldiers, Monica?

Doug Benson Top that off with stoner, Doug Benson (Super High Me Movie) suffering from verbal diarrhoea, who proudly proclaims through a stoned haze, “I didn’t even know they [Canadians] were fighting in the war…” Benson, who apparently has the IQ of a salad fork, says this shit with such pride and visible amusement.

Well, I don’t normally mumble about our trusty neighbours the U. S. of A. I figure they get enough from their own people (check out NFP Columnists, Alan Caruba, Jack Random, Jim Camp, et al) and from the rest of the world, but this crap is enough for me to say something.

The video of the FOX television show below was suggested to be “satire” by its host, Gutfeld; unfortunately I don’t buy this. This wasn’t the John Stewart Show, a show that is satirical. This is supposed to be a “news show”. Which means that the people on the show were either stupid or they just felt like being a bunch of nards. Or both.



We as Canadians would want to assume that they are being nards and we would want to assume that the majority of Americans also think the people on the FOX show were indeed – nards.

I would also imagine that most Canadians already know of the American ignorance factor about Canada. You know; the usual garbage. We live in igloos, play hockey and drink beer 24/7, there’s snow all year round, we pronounce ‘about’ – ‘aboot’ (which is such shit by the way), and we all know ‘Harry’ who lives in Canada. Blah Blah Blah And ya know, this stuff just gets funnier every decade we get to hear it.

Then there’s the other misconstrued bullshit, also mentioned in the video. “If it weren’t for the U.S. being beside Canada, they’d be screwed etc., etc.” Not sure what Americans mean by that. Do they mean other countries would invade us, but because the Americans are next door, they won’t? No, that’s not it. It’s the other way around.

If another country took us over, then they would have to live next to you guys and I hate to tell you this but the world assigned us as your neighbours, because we’re the only ones that will put up with ya! We’re laid back enough to tolerate your silliness. Which is cool, cause we just silly too! Don’t forget, Homer Simpson is part Canadian!

Besides, the only country on the planet that would ever try to take us over – is America. Unfortunately, you’ve tried that and it didn’t work out very well. Sure, ya could kick our ass with your military. And yes we have only 40 to 50,000 Armed Personnel , yadda yadda, but I assure you, 20,000,000 Canadians will be waiting for ya at the border. And we won’t be the lovable, easy-going bunch you’ve grown to think we are.

Bill Schulz - Monica CrowleyThe video depicts the sadness of the pride of Americans and their ignorance of Canada. They would not be so quick to mock another country’s Armed Forces or culture. Hey Gutfeld, do the same thing again, only this time, refer your smart-ass remarks to…let’s say - Iran! Let’s see how far that takes ya!

Canadians and Americans have lived side by side for over a hundred years and may be similar in many respects, but we are also completely different in so many, many ways. It is a necessity to have separate identities because we do live beside each other. We both need the cultural differences to have respect for each other. Weird but true.

Yes, Canadian comedians depict Americans and their lifestyle in a humourous light and American comedians performing here in Canada, depict Canadians and their lifestyle in a humourous light. And together we laugh – ha ha.

However, when “journalists” sit around a news desk for a discussion about the Afghanistan War, a war that the U.S. started and a war that Canadians have been fighting for, dying for, and cleaning up after for – the Americans; and then they act like they did on the Red Eye show, well there’s something wrong here. All of them on that show except for one fellow (Jonathan Hoenig) who was shown in a separate window, didn’t partake in their stupid conversation, was actually confused by the others ramblings and in fact, he steered clear of their silly ass talk and said the only thing that made any sense.

At a time when Mr. Obama is trying to re-brand America, idiots like those on the Red Eye show, continue to show the world the underlying truth of America – they’re the best, the greatest, and everyone else is a piece of shit. And that’s why the world doesn’t like you. Sorry, I don’t make the rules, I just write about those who do.

Perhaps our big brother next door has forgotten. While you yahoos were bouncing around Iraq, for absolutely no bloody reason, you left the Canadians standing in Afghanistan holding the bag. And since Obama has taken over, he has reminded the American public about the war ya’ll started in Afghanistan and has promised to send actual Americans to fight the goddamn thing.

Maybe the Canadian government should have told you to get bent and fight your own damn war.

No. We don’t work like that. We’re Canadians.

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